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April 03, 2008

Fug Madness 2008: Final Four, Game One

(2) SHARON "RAPID BEAVER" STONE vs (1) VICTORIA "POSH SPICE" BECKHAM

The final four! It's here at last! It's almost time to cue "One Shining Moment" over a touching montage of, like, Courtney Peldon kicking Lohan in the nads or Tilda Swinton and K-Fed sharing a tender-yet-creepy post-game embrace.

As for this particular game, we must be frank: we love these two. If they were to start showing up places looking even vaguely normal on a regular basis, we would be bereft. We are the Mark Darcy to their Bridget Jones: We love them just as they are, even if what they are is totally nutrageous. They are delicious, glamorous divas and you best believe they have their eyes on you:

One of them plans to kill you with merely one well-placed acrylic toenail and the other one will just very, very awkwardly seduce you. Guess who is who?!

Now, you've surely already perused Sharon's archive, as well as Posh's. Their choices haunt your dreams, their abuses of their stellar genetic material has had you racked with sobs on more than on occasion. You love them, you hate them, you love to hate them, you hate to love them, you love to love them -- who are we to judge you? But you feel about them, and you feel strongly. Let's take a wee peek at some NEVER SEEN BEFORE fugs before we head into the voting booths, shall we?

Have you perhaps forgotten the unfortunate time Posh decided she was a hip-hop artist (no, I'm not making that up. She really decided that, for about six weeks)?

What about...uh, I'm not entirely sure how to classify this?

Other than, of course, as being AWESOME.

Which they both are... you know, in a way.



Posted by H & J at 09:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink

Comments

It's not just the fug - it's the nuts! And Sharon wins, hands down.

Posted by: 21stCenturyMom | Apr 3, 2008 9:03:56 AM

woo, its a tie so far!

Posted by: coconutsmigrate | Apr 3, 2008 9:04:16 AM

gad, this is physically painful! My heart is with Sharon, and like Hillary I have to vote my heart even though the odds are against her.

Posted by: Julie | Apr 3, 2008 9:05:59 AM

Tacky clothing is just what Posh DOES. It's what she's known for.

Sharon Stone has no excuse.

Posted by: Unlucky Bear | Apr 3, 2008 9:06:07 AM

Go, Posh, go!

Posted by: Porter | Apr 3, 2008 9:07:43 AM

I voted Posh because when you've got David as an accessory, there is no excuse for her to not dress fly as well.

Posted by: Victoria | Apr 3, 2008 9:08:26 AM

49-50 in Posh's favor?????? No WAY!

Posted by: Kris | Apr 3, 2008 9:08:38 AM

Hm if Crazy Sharon Stone is Hillary Clinton, that makes Posh the Obama of this match. You know who I am voting for. You know Posh never bought the whole WMD thing. Besides, she's got what it takes against Paris and Bai. And John McCain.

Posted by: bogwitch | Apr 3, 2008 9:09:08 AM

I know the Stone wears weird stuff--okay, some REALLY weird stuff--but she can look normal at times. Nice, even. Posh looks bizarre, always. I swear every time I see her, she's oranger. That skin is the unholiest of colors. Bitchface FTW!

Posted by: Jules | Apr 3, 2008 9:09:46 AM

Posh gets it on the facial expressions.

Posted by: Laura B | Apr 3, 2008 9:10:18 AM

SS is always so haphazardly put together and that's makes for great fug. posh's fug is too intentional. besides, ss was once hailed as hollywood glamour, but these days she reigns as the queen of fug :)
posh is kitsch.

Posted by: km | Apr 3, 2008 9:11:16 AM

The Becks always looks like she's trying so hard, and never having fun. Must-maintain-pouty-cruel lips.

Sharon's fug looks effortless, and then she can do the turnaround and be a knockout. It must be killer to date her and never know who will show up. She wins hands down!

Posted by: Patsky | Apr 3, 2008 9:11:21 AM

I voted for Sharon Stone. She used to accessorize with a man who got BIT BY A DRAGON.

Posted by: Tana | Apr 3, 2008 9:11:35 AM

Posh all the way - she NEVER looks normal. And she falls back on her old cliches - tightly constricted corsets, robo-slut gear. So she also gets fug points for unoriginality.

Posted by: jennifer | Apr 3, 2008 9:12:02 AM

My head is going to explode. I simply CANNOT decide between these two, I want them both to win!

Posted by: Celeste | Apr 3, 2008 9:14:26 AM

Posh tries too hard to look like she doesn't try to look the way she does. Stone just exudes the crazy-fug and she showed her lady parts on camera, so, she wins.

Posted by: Meg | Apr 3, 2008 9:14:38 AM

Sharon should take this hands down. Posh just has an unfortunate affinity for leather and a dislike of bottoms. But Sharon? She's made fug into an art form. Plus she's amazing.

Posted by: Lane | Apr 3, 2008 9:14:57 AM

Agonizing choice! Not as bad as Bai vs Sefugny, but bad enough.

I went with Posh because it feels to me like she truly digs the fug and consistently strives to perfect the fug as an artform. And, as the younger of the two she's the future of fug.

I may be reading more into her fug than is warranted, but I've had my breakfast martini and well...what other excuse do I need?

Posted by: bonemot | Apr 3, 2008 9:15:31 AM

I have to go with Posh. There was a while back in the early 90s when Sharon Stone actually dressed very well; Posh is one long train wreck.

Posted by: Amy | Apr 3, 2008 9:15:35 AM

Stone is mad. That madness must prevail. GO SHARON!!!

Posted by: Sam | Apr 3, 2008 9:16:10 AM

Stone wins, if only because of that dress that looks like a badger's been gnawing on her pancreas. Props to Posh, however, for looking like a post-op Peter Pan.

Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | Apr 3, 2008 9:17:09 AM

bogwitch - You Rock!

Posh vs McCain!

Posh all the way!

Posted by: bonemot | Apr 3, 2008 9:17:29 AM

I'm not saying that Sharon hasn't made some bad choices, but her fashion is actually saner than she is. And I love a lady in a suit!

Posted by: Shaky Riel | Apr 3, 2008 9:17:30 AM

It was hard - I prayed on it - but had to choose Posh in the end. After all, as I have admitted before, I would BE Posh in 5 seconds if I could. Posh is goofy and fun, Sharon is just plain insane.

Not to mention, DAVID BECKHAM - hello.

Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Apr 3, 2008 9:17:45 AM

I'm not saying that Sharon hasn't made some bad choices, but her fashion is actually saner than she is. And I love a lady in a suit!

Posted by: Shaky Riel | Apr 3, 2008 9:17:48 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

 

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