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April 07, 2008

Fug Madness 2008: Final Game

We can hardly believe this final game is here! And what a game it is: a beloved, nearly always semi-naked, multiple-personalitied  performer/blogger of great awesomeness  versus an erstwhile Spice Girl and lover of Beckham, spray tans, high heels, sunglasses and overall ferociousness.

(2) BAI LING vs. (1) VICTORIA "POSH SPICE" BECKHAM

Oh, BAI. Your archive gives us such great joy. Who can forgot this triad of deliciousness? Who can remain hard-hearted when faced with visual evidence of a great love affair with a Chewbacca in high-water pants? Who can look upon this and not feel certain that all is right in the world of fug?

That is what Rock of Love With Bret Michaels would wear if it woke up and realized it was actually a person rather than a television show. This is also rather fetching:

It's like what you'd look like if you decided to dress as a pinata for Halloween, as costumed by Trashy Lingerie. And in many ways, Bai IS a Pinata of Fug: loud; extremely colorful; possibly sweet inside (we don't know!);  fun at parties; takes a ton of hits but won't give in; full of surprises; potentially not the classiest addition to an event; possibly dangerous; maybe partially constructed using chicken wire; and spends a lot of time hanging from the rafters.

And then there's Maude. By which we mean Posh, who is just like Maude in scowling expressions and trail-blazing fierceness, if slightly more excessive in her displays of cleavage.

Victoria is  taped into that thing masterfully, and is so spit-shined and burnished, she might as well pull a few shifts at Madame Tussaud's when her own wax mannequin needs to take a mental-health day. And she clung to those hair extensions far beyond their expiration date, bless her; I've seen better manes on my old My Little Pony collection, and those poor things have been lying on top of each other in a box for twenty years.

And, akin to Bai, our girl Vicky isn't afraid of animal print.

It's just WRONG when Victoria Beckham wears something that's two parts Bai Ling and two parts Courtney freakin' Peldon. This isn't worthy of one who is so committed to the very priciest fuggery, and Posh is nothing if not prepared to invest in her art. Off the rack is one thing; off the top of the "FETISH SAFETY: WATERPROOF, FIREPROOF" bin at Biff's Ho Palace is another. Not cool, Spicefrau. Not cool.

Posted by H & J at 09:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink

Comments

Sharon was robbed :(

Posted by: Lindsay | Apr 7, 2008 9:04:16 AM

I literally cannot decide. Bai is more straight fug, where Posh has more fab fugulosity.

Posted by: Skeggjold | Apr 7, 2008 9:04:35 AM

i almost didn't vote because the final two is so disapointing....however i'm voting for posh ONLY because she's much more in the public eye than bai ling. in fact, if it wasn't for GFY, i don't think most of us would have any idea who bai ling was. she's just attention starved, unlike posh who has more than enough attention and dresses the way she does when she knows people are already looking at her.

Posted by: ana | Apr 7, 2008 9:05:09 AM

I thought about this match-up all weekend, and after much thought, prayer, and several vodka tonics, I had to go with Posh.

Bai is a formidable opponent, don't get me wrong, but Posh OWNS the fug. She WORKS it. She peddles it on others with her Marc Jacobs ads, picking the latest Project Runway winner, and work as a stylist. I mean, we have Posh to thank for single-handedly attaching the fug training wheels to Kate Holmes, for jeebus' sake! She's MAY-JAH.

And, my personal morals do not allow me to vote for someone whom I believe is fug because of a brain chemical imbalance. And Bai between her blog and her petty shoplifting, I'm pretty sure Bai's fug is the physical manifestation of a deep-seated bipolar disorder.

Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Apr 7, 2008 9:05:39 AM

Go Team Bai!

I drew a paperdoll version of one of her outfits to show my support: http://joechip.net/liana/2008/04/06/bai-ling-green-satin-corset-and-plaid-balloon-skirt-via-go-fug-yourself/

Posted by: Liana | Apr 7, 2008 9:05:54 AM

I've gotta go with Bai on this one, if only because Posh does occasionally put together a completely fab outfit that I spend days coveting. Bai Ling, on the other hand, lives in Halloween costume territory 24/7.

Posted by: Susan | Apr 7, 2008 9:05:55 AM

I voted for Bai, for two reasons: 1)I don't want to crush the hopes and dreams of Christian from Project Runway, and 2)negative attention is better than no attention at all, and if we don't give it to Bai, who will?

Posted by: Auntie Em | Apr 7, 2008 9:06:08 AM

Bai Ling is winning by a large margin? oh come on! Go POSH!

Posted by: Leah | Apr 7, 2008 9:06:26 AM

This was such a hard decision! I had to give it to Bai based on the fact that Posh is only 3 bags full of crazy, whereas Bai is about 14 and a half bags full of crazy.

Posted by: Barret | Apr 7, 2008 9:07:03 AM

I refuse to vote here. Chloƫ Sevigny is the true and deserving winner. This comment shall serve as my write-in. Who's with me?

Posted by: K.Fo | Apr 7, 2008 9:08:00 AM

The thing is - sometimes I really like the way Posh looks -- she actually has some style (if not class)

Bai Ling has the lock on looking fugly, skanky, (nipply) and I have never seen her look normal or non-slutty or non-attention-grabbing.

Posh owns the room; Bai Ling owns the fug...

Posted by: Julia | Apr 7, 2008 9:09:17 AM

I thought Bai would win, but not by such a large margin! It's got to be the blogging that turned her into a Fug Secretariat!

Posted by: Nicole | Apr 7, 2008 9:09:18 AM

Very very hard indeed. Granted, I'm very disappointed the Final Showdown isn't Chloe Sevigny and Courtney Peldon (How did Sharon Stone beat her?!).

Anyways: High Fashion Fug vs. Just Plain Crazy Fug? ... I can't decide. I just can't.

Posted by: Sophie | Apr 7, 2008 9:09:30 AM

I'm with you, K.Fo. Chloƫ all the way!

Posted by: jess | Apr 7, 2008 9:09:44 AM

gotta go to posh her style really is as bad as the spice girl days!

Posted by: Ellie | Apr 7, 2008 9:10:33 AM

Concrete Tits HAS to win this. Her fug is geniune, Bai Ling's is caused by insanity. You cannot help insanity! Come on sweetlings, do it for our Vic! Do it for The Fug Girl's My Little Pony Collection!!!!!1!SHIFTONE!!

Posted by: the pook | Apr 7, 2008 9:10:41 AM

I have a confession to make - I don't hate Posh's zebra print outfit. It was for an MTV event and, I feel, it wasn't off the mark.

I have to vote Bai, even though something about her has warmed my heart. I still think many of Posh's outfits are much simpler and sleeker than anything La Stone or Bai ever fugged... and there is merit in that. I guess.

Posted by: susan | Apr 7, 2008 9:10:49 AM

I voted for Bai because:

1. her blog is shockingly awesome- in a bad bad way.
2. Posh's arm candy is so pretty- he counteracts a part of her fug.

And whomever was able to knock the Sev out should win this shootin match.

Vodka Red Bull, anyone?

Posted by: mrs o | Apr 7, 2008 9:11:21 AM

Neither of these two even comes close to the fully-ripened and mature fug that is Sharon Stone. That being said, Posh has to beat Bai - there's a huge difference between being fug and just being trashy.

Posted by: Erin | Apr 7, 2008 9:11:41 AM

Bai FTW! I just have to say that it's a sham to have Vix go so far just to end up here. I think both are fugly fabulous and surprisingly beat out many other contenders. America has spoken!

Posted by: shanna | Apr 7, 2008 9:12:39 AM

bai ling is my favorite celebrity

Posted by: josephgelb | Apr 7, 2008 9:12:42 AM

I'm still trying to figure out how Chloe is not in the final two...but I had to go with Bai. She's just so consistently terrible.

Posted by: Karen | Apr 7, 2008 9:12:53 AM

I am heartbroken - the Queen of all fugliness was, IMHO, Chloe and I can't believe she didn't make it to the final. I had to vote for Posh because, in the same vein as Chloe, she seems to truly believe that what she is wearing is stylish. You know that Bai is just wearing her crazy outfits to get attention which is way different from trying to convince the world you are on the cutting edge of fashion. Anyway, long live all the fugly celebrities and thanks to the Go Fug Yourself girls for giving me something to look forward to every day. Chloe, honey, you need to pull up your leg-warmers and make it to the finale next year!

Posted by: Kathy | Apr 7, 2008 9:12:58 AM

"And in many ways, Bai IS a Pinata of Fug: loud; extremely colorful; possibly sweet inside (we don't know!); fun at parties; takes a ton of hits but won't give in; full of surprises; potentially not the classiest addition to an event; possibly dangerous; maybe partially constructed using chicken wire; and spends a lot of time hanging from the rafters."

No one will EVER express it better than that!
You Fug Girls can break down and encapsulate the crazy like no one else. You are AWESOME.

Bai for the win! Because of the entirety of the pinata reference!
Posh is just a sorry, second-rate entrant in comparison.

Posted by: Loob | Apr 7, 2008 9:13:01 AM

I dreamed of a Posh-Lopez matchup but was denied.

You can't give this to Bai, ladies. She's more circus freak than fugly fashion plate.

Posh 4evah!

Posted by: Ellie | Apr 7, 2008 9:13:25 AM

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