April 08, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Your Champion
After roughly 1.1 million total votes throughout the ten days of Fug Madness, we finally have a champion.
There were upsets (who knew Brittany Murphy had legs in this thing?), there were Cinderellas (sweet Peldon, if anyone is likely to take that as a cue to wear actual glass slippers around town, it's you), and there was agita and tears and regret from all the supporters of favorite fuggers who fell victim to our eventual finalists. Tough to say if it's heartening or tragic for Chloe Sevigny that her supporters were so vocal in bemoaning her absence from the final game; her fair-and-square loss in the Elite Eight proves that, just as in basketball, what you've achieved before doesn't matter if you don't bring it on the day. Remember her fate this time next year, Chloephiles -- your votes do count.
And yesterday, 69 percent of them counted in favor of our first-ever Fug Madness champion. From the brutal Charo bracket, past challengers like Tara Reid and Sevigny, Phoebe Price and Mary-Kate Olsen, comes your glorious champion --our very own version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse but with about 24 personalities instead of four steeds.
Yes: BAI LING.
[Photo: Splash News]
Whether you are crying over spilled Sevigny or had your money on Sharon Stone, at the end of the day, it's impossible to deny that the title sits well on Bai's semi-nude shoulders. Her fug reigns supreme because it is supreme; she certainly worked hard for it, and worked it hard. The best part is how she's standing there all defiant, like, "What, lensmonkey? Are you not used to lace bodystockings and turbans? Well, when Madonna is elected president in 2020 and this becomes our National Guard uniform, you will not be so SMIRKY, you sad shutter-clown."
Well, except, it's Bai Ling, so that would come out sounding more like, "Loving darling, I am moving through light in the haze of......what? Dancing with sweat to celebrate, all hail, and salute the singing future of clouds. Do you fallow me? HELLO!"
Congratulations to her, and to runner-up Victoria Beckham, who scored the unlikely upset of a devastatingly strong and Peldon-killing Sharon Stone. You all fugged hard, and we look forward to what you can achieve in a comeback campaign in Fug Madness 2009.
And for those of our readers who love an incredibly cheesy (and slightly grainy) post-tournament tribute reel, we've prepared a video treat, replete with all the intentionally ridiculous special-effects we can muster on a dime budget:
Okay, so part of that is a bit of an inside joke for fans of actual March Madness, BUT, we promise, you don't have to care about basketball to appreciate the power of some campy editing and heartfelt vocal fromage. And this is the best of the best, in that regard -- the awesomely terrible musical equivalent of shoving your face into a table-sized wheel of cheddar. If you feel like you're overdosing, make sure you get as far as Courtney Peldon before you flee. You won't be sorry. (Well, you might be, but we doubt it.)
Thanks to all of you for indulging this crazy whim of ours, for voting like crazy, and for providing us with such witty, amusing, delicious comments. Our readers rule, and now, so does Bai.
Brilliant! Thanks for all the fun!
Posted by: MB | Apr 8, 2008 11:08:21 AM
Can we do a re-count? Can we re-visit that Courtney Peldon ensemble? This contest was obviously stolen from her. The final showdown should have been a Peldon-Ling throwdown.
Posted by: Genny | Apr 8, 2008 11:10:56 AM
Thanks for everything :) It has been a blast!
Posted by: Remy Overkempe | Apr 8, 2008 11:12:47 AM
This was so much fun! Please tell us that there will be a Fug Madness 2009. I am a huge March Madness fan, but this was fun and spectacular on a whole new level.
Posted by: nichole | Apr 8, 2008 11:12:53 AM
Awesome. Bai totally deserves it. She is the Fugmost!
I can't wait for next year.....
Posted by: marge | Apr 8, 2008 11:12:58 AM
I've loved the whole Fug Madness experience, and I eagerly anticipate next year's tournament.
Posted by: Alison | Apr 8, 2008 11:13:53 AM
What a shining moment for the Fug Girls!!! This has been a captivating experience and I can't wait for next year. I enjoy the intelligent sarcasm and wit of this site on a daily and I can't wait for next year. Thanks for making my 8 hours a day of waiting for a cocktail just that much brighter. Cheers!!!!
Posted by: Jenn | Apr 8, 2008 11:14:42 AM
Thank you, thank you, thank you - I loved every minute of this.
Posted by: Donna | Apr 8, 2008 11:15:19 AM
I cannot believe you went "One Shining Moment" - this has made my entire DAY.
Well, that and Bai winning. She makes my heart sing even when I'm giggling.
Posted by: Kate | Apr 8, 2008 11:16:15 AM
I just wept a little. thanks for making my last two weeks at work less boring. next year it's all about chloe.
Posted by: eryn | Apr 8, 2008 11:16:50 AM
Oh that was awesome! I love the cheesiness of One Shining Moment and to have to played while seeing all those glorious fashions, it just took my breath away.
Posted by: mef | Apr 8, 2008 11:17:01 AM
Sevigny in 2009!!!
Thanks girls, for all the fun!
Posted by: Kris | Apr 8, 2008 11:17:54 AM
This was so much fun! I couldn't think of a better way to waste my cube-dwelling day. I LOVED reading all the comments, there are a ton of snarky people out there and it's awesome!
Posted by: elise | Apr 8, 2008 11:19:00 AM
Thank you so much, guys! What fun!
Posted by: Stephie D | Apr 8, 2008 11:19:05 AM
Tears of laughter are actually rolling down my face as a result of that Peldon shot. I had to rewind, pause and squint. Put that baby back in the vault because I can't handle it.
Fantastic fuggin' work, ladies. Thank you.
Looking for Stone/Stefani '09!!
Posted by: be nice | Apr 8, 2008 11:21:25 AM
Inexplicably, that set-to-audio-fromage montage made me verklempt. I may be one weird woman, but you fug girls are the snarky wind beneath my wings.
Posted by: chelsea g | Apr 8, 2008 11:21:25 AM
Thanks girls, it's been so exiting!
And now, to the metaphysical question suggested for discussion by another commenter in the final game:
What IS fug?
Posted by: Elin | Apr 8, 2008 11:22:29 AM
Thank you so much Fug girls, this has been so much fun.
If it weren't for you, I never would have known about Our Lady of Fug Miss Ling, or either Peldon, or Phoebe Price, or many other offenders. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Posted by: Z | Apr 8, 2008 11:24:11 AM
That was a lot of fun. What will be the rules for next year? Will Bai be allowed to defend her title, or will she be like Miss America and graciously return to crown the next Fug Goddess?
Posted by: Ellie | Apr 8, 2008 11:24:20 AM
Bai Ling and the Wookie.....which twin has the toni?
Fabulousness all around, gals.....
Posted by: Lisa | Apr 8, 2008 11:26:03 AM
I'm verklimpt. Butter. Thanks for the fun, ladies.
Posted by: Amy | Apr 8, 2008 11:27:59 AM
Shudder. I actually may not sleep tonight ...
Posted by: mimi | Apr 8, 2008 11:28:11 AM
Hurrah, the Gods have spoken!
Seriously though, what am I going to do at work now?
Posted by: Hannah | Apr 8, 2008 11:28:52 AM
Fugging brilliant video, ladies. Thank you so much and see you next year.
Posted by: Kate | Apr 8, 2008 11:29:05 AM
Enjoy your shining moment, Bai, but be fair and share it with the voices in your head; they are responsible for your champion fugness, each and every one.
Posted by: Megan | Apr 8, 2008 11:29:41 AM
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