Heidi Monfug

Apparently the only qualification you need to design a clothing line is a face that's appeared on TV (next, look for "Briefcase" by a Deal Or No Deal girl, and of course, "Can You Wear Me Now?" from the Verizon dude). Ergo, Heidi Montag debuted her "Heidiwood" collection this past weekend, humbly choosing only models that were near-clones of her, and strutting the runway herself in one of her designs.

Groundbreaking stuff. I've never seen anything like it!

Well, except for this:

Now, I'm not saying she copied -- just that, basically, Heidi has unwittingly given the world an even less expensive way to look like Posh, but with the addition of formal shorts. And hey, in a way, Heidi could be considered the shoestring-budget version of Mrs. Beckham: Neither of them can sing, and both of them trend toward clothing I would refer to, in my bluer moments, as Tits-Tacky. Given that, maybe it makes sense that one of Heidi's first stabs at the clothing arts would be an unimaginative club-hopper homage to a woman who FAR out-fabs her yet is equally in search of lasting creative relevance.

But my bigger concern here: Does this mean Spencer fancies himself David Beckham? Because that's not reaching for the stars -- that's reaching for hallucinogenic drugs. I bet this whole terrible fashion charade is his fault. He ruins everything.