April 16, 2008
One Fug Hill: THE NEXT RETURN
One of the most awesome thing about One Tree Hill is its unswerving desire to try out an endless series of terrible haircuts on its male leads. They did it to Chad Michael Murray, they did it to James Lafferty, and now they've turned their Scissors of Shame on Paul Johansson, the brother-murdering, grave-immolating, grandchild-rescuing, pre-schooler-threatening, graffiti-hallucinating, former mayor turned jailbird-wackjob:
Dudes, I know he just got out of jail, and then: crashed his son's wedding, at which said son was left at the alter when the bride realized LIKE THREE WEEKS AFTER THE FACT that his second book was all about how he was secretly in love with this other girl, even though she is allegedly AN EDITOR and ought to be better at READING COMPREHENSION; found time to have a big fight with his daughter-in-law while he was actually pretty busy skulking around; and then saved his grandchild from the clutches of his other son's psychotic nanny, up-to and including choking said kidnapper out. So he's been busy. TOO BUSY, perhaps, to have time to skip over to the Tree Hill Barber Shoppe and have them give him this Panic At The Disco 'do. Poor Dan. What does he have to do to get some respect? He already killed his brother, blamed it on a trouble teenager who just happened to be in the middle of a school-shooting spree, and then set his brother's grave on fire! HE WILL CUT A BITCH.