May 13, 2008
Fug and the City
KRISTIN: Oh... my!
CYNTHIA: Wow, it's so... wow!
KIM: I seriously cannot believe this bitch.
SJP: Why, hello, photographers! I'm here! Can you believe our little show blossomed into a movie?
KRISTIN: I'm not stuck sitting behind her, am I?
CYNTHIA: Nah, I'm sure they gave that seat to Kim.
KIM: Seriously, NO ONE is looking at me, and that is not normal. Hello? Everyone? I'm the naked sex maniac! I'm the one that supposedly hates all these clowns! LOOK AT ME!
SJP: It's amazing what the show has done! I mean, you plant a seed, and it just grows and grows...
KRISTIN: At least this way no one's noticing that Kim and I are in the same color, or that her hair is kinda pointy.
CYNTHIA: Or that your boobs look kind of strange in that.
KRISTIN: Hey, whose side are you on?
SJP: ... and you can either cut off the flower and put it in a vase to die, or you can let the bees get into it and spread the pollen, and create a garden of comedy...
CYNTHIA: I'm hypnotized. Kim is going to cut her.
KIM: I AM GOING TO CUT HER.
SJP: ... and you water it, and suddenly it blossoms into a mature flower...
KRISTIN: Ten bucks says Kim snaps in five minutes.
CYNTHIA: Double or nothing says it's two.
KIM: Oh, I'll snap. I'll snap her like a twig. There is a GIANT living up there and it's called HER EGO and so I have to CHOP DOWN HER BEANSTALK.
SJP: ... and I will NOT put Carrie Bradshaw in a vase! She's too remarkable. I needed the world to keep holding the hosepipe that waters the garden of Carrie.
KIM: I am going to water her head-garden with a little hose I call THE TOILET BOWL.
KRISTIN: You know, I might be okay with that.
CYNTHIA: At this rate we'll have to film the sequel in separate rooms and splice it together.
KIM: That's assuming she doesn't wear an entire POTTING SHED on her head at the U.S. premiere...
SJP: Oh, hi, guys. When did you get here?
KIM... in which case, there will be no sequel because I will have shoved a pitchfork up her nose.
CYNTHIA: And that's $20 to me, please, Kristin.
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