Fug Fug Must Die!

There is something to be said for a celebrity who is willing to show up places with the kind of image makeover that makes you snort, "you have got to be kidding me." Like Whatshisnuts McGillicudy here from Desperate Housewives:

Jesse Metcalf! Phew, I knew his name would come back to me. Kind of like a bad seafood platter. Let's take a look at the close-up, shall we?

Okay, kid. If that's what you're selling now. Sure. You're a bad ass: you wear a cap that looks at first glance like a Bret Michaelsian bandana, you don't shave, you make mildly aggravated faces. You're not a pretty boy anymore, you're probably going to threaten to punch me at some point. Gotcha. Loud and clear. Totally smell what you're attempting to cook. Call me when you get tired of people thinking you're Brody Jenner, and we'll come up with something new.