Fugalot

[Photo: Splash News]

"...Yeah, you know what? This is bad. Really bad. WHY, again, did I think I should do Spamalot with my own hair? That's what WIGS are for, dammit! Instead I'm wandering around looking like a middle-aged Manilow wannabe wearing a sweater made of airport carpet. How did it come to this? Where are my frosted tips? Whither the spikes? WHY AM I SO FRUMPY? I'M A GODDAMN HEARTTHROB TO GRANDMOTHERS EVERYWHERE! You know what? Get me Ryan Seacrest. He'll fix this. He fixes everything. Oooooh, and tell him to bring donuts."