Fugsana Baiul

Oh, Oksana. Welcome back.

I missed you and your flair for the obvious, your fondness for anything shiny and flimsy, and your uncanny ability to wear things that nobody else has seen at any store in the world, ever. Did you make this? Did you wake up one morning and scream, "It's a SPORTS EVENT! I should design a SILVER DISCO TRACKSUIT," and then slave away at your sewing machine for two weeks until you finally made it as synthetic as possible? That's really quite sweet. A love story, if you will, between woman and machine. When Lifetime has to resort to Celebrity Project Runway -- in about six months -- you'd make a wonderfully unique contestant. I can't wait for the episode in which you and Kellie Martin are paired up in the Design New Prison Jumpsuits For All The Murderesses Susan Lucci Has Played In Our Movies challenge, and you come to blows with Tori Spelling and Yasmine Bleeth over the right to a bolt of paisley terrycloth. Suddenly Lifetime seems like it might be the best thing to happen to Project Runway since Laura Bennett.