May 06, 2008
Met Ball Fug Carpet: The Olsens
ASHLEY: People will get this, right? That I'm going as a superhero's VICTIM? With the ripped clothes?
CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN: POW!
MARY-KATE: You know who'd have loved this? Frankie Sinatra. Oh, he was a card.
M-K: It all reminds me of the time I did Carson with a lit cigarette in my hair. How McMahon did laugh! He was all hands, that Eddie. And what a tongue!
ASHLEY: I don't understand.
M-K: Somebody get me a scotch, neat, and make it a double. God, that reminds me of that night with Carol Channing and the Hardy Boys. I've got stories about that hussy that would make your toes curl.
ASHLEY: How is it that we're related? Sometimes I think this whole thing is a bizarre accident.
M-K: It's like Bette Davis used to say: "If you can't take off your clothes, then it's not worth having dinner." Or was that Paris Hilton?
ASHLEY: The worst part is, people might think you're ME. Clearly I have to dye my hair again.
M-K: You want to talk about buying new drapes? Let me tell you about the day Phyllis Diller came over for canasta and absinthe -- we'd both been having these WICKED hot flashes, see, and...
ASHLEY: Time to go.