After roughly 1.1 million total votes throughout the ten days of Fug Madness, we finally have a champion.
There were upsets (who knew Brittany Murphy had legs in this thing?), there were Cinderellas (sweet Peldon, if anyone is likely to take that as a cue to wear actual glass slippers around town, it's you), and there was agita and tears and regret from all the supporters of favorite fuggers who fell victim to our eventual finalists. Tough to say if it's heartening or tragic for Chloe Sevigny that her supporters were so vocal in bemoaning her absence from the final game; her fair-and-square loss in the Elite Eight proves that, just as in basketball, what you've achieved before doesn't matter if you don't bring it on the day. Remember her fate this time next year, Chloephiles -- your votes do count.
And yesterday, 69 percent of them counted in favor of our first-ever Fug Madness champion. From the brutal Charo bracket, past challengers like Tara Reid and Sevigny, Phoebe Price and Mary-Kate Olsen, comes your glorious champion --our very own version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse but with about 24 personalities instead of four steeds.
Yes: BAI LING.
[Photo: Splash News]
Whether you are crying over spilled Sevigny or had your money on Sharon Stone, at the end of the day, it's impossible to deny that the title sits well on Bai's semi-nude shoulders. Her fug reigns supreme because it is supreme; she certainly worked hard for it, and worked it hard. The best part is how she's standing there all defiant, like, "What, lensmonkey? Are you not used to lace bodystockings and turbans? Well, when Madonna is elected president in 2020 and this becomes our National Guard uniform, you will not be so SMIRKY, you sad shutter-clown."
Well, except, it's Bai Ling, so that would come out sounding more like, "Loving darling, I am moving through light in the haze of......what? Dancing with sweat to celebrate, all hail, and salute the singing future of clouds. Do you fallow me? HELLO!"
Congratulations to her, and to runner-up Victoria Beckham, who scored the unlikely upset of a devastatingly strong and Peldon-killing Sharon Stone. You all fugged hard, and we look forward to what you can achieve in a comeback campaign in Fug Madness 2009.
And for those of our readers who love an incredibly cheesy (and slightly grainy) post-tournament tribute reel, we've prepared a video treat, replete with all the intentionally ridiculous special-effects we can muster on a dime budget:
Okay, so part of that is a bit of an inside joke for fans of actual March Madness, BUT, we promise, you don't have to care about basketball to appreciate the power of some campy editing and heartfelt vocal fromage. And this is the best of the best, in that regard -- the awesomely terrible musical equivalent of shoving your face into a table-sized wheel of cheddar. If you feel like you're overdosing, make sure you get as far as Courtney Peldon before you flee. You won't be sorry. (Well, you might be, but we doubt it.)
Thanks to all of you for indulging this crazy whim of ours, for voting like crazy, and for providing us with such witty, amusing, delicious comments. Our readers rule, and now, so does Bai.
lol Congrats to Bai.
Thanks, girls! I had SO much fun with this. I love the video too. That song is cracking me up.
Posted by: Krys | April 08, 2008 at 11:30 AM
Awesome, awesome fun!! I can't wait for next year!
Thanks so much, Fug Girls! Today's my birthday, and the Hubster and I spent a good part of it laughing our asses off over the Fug Brackets, and also, my girl Bai won the day!
So, T-shirts? T-shirts? :D ...T-shirts? ;D
Bright and gaudy with Bai on them wearing her arguably most insane outfit?
Posted by: Loob | April 08, 2008 at 11:32 AM
sooooooooooooo fun!
f*ck, now I have to get back to work.
Posted by: Madeline | April 08, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Thanks for the fugories! My head is awhirl with images from which I may never recover! Great time, and I hope those, like myself, who voted like mad for Chloe, feel somewhat vindicated as that fugtage reveals fugstice was indeed served.
Mewonders if Bai will post this victory on her blog, and if we'll be able to decipher it if she does? Bravo, Bai, sleek wild morning cat cuckoo!
Posted by: Cecily | April 08, 2008 at 11:35 AM
I am about to set off on a 5 hour drive to a meeting, and I just KNOW that I will be singing "One shining moment, you knew were alive," really loudly to myself the whole damn trip.
Thank you Fug Girls.
Posted by: KPod | April 08, 2008 at 11:35 AM
Wow! That video is AMAZING!
While my heart's true love will always belong to Peldon and her personal empire of inflated self-importance and horrifyingly bad fashion, I am more than satisfied to see the championship seized in the hot little hands of Bai Ling. She, herself, is a work of speechless wonder and the day I get tired of her blog, I'll have to spiritlessly be shipped off to pasture and turned into glue.
Posted by: Tray | April 08, 2008 at 11:36 AM
I need a little clarification here...
Which one of Bai's personalities are gonna receive and then wear the crown?
I really can't comprehend how this is going to work.
And how will said crown be worn?
As a glorified chastity belt perhaps? An oversized bangle or cuff? An art-deco eye patch?
With each personality the possibilities are endless!
Posted by: Aleashia | April 08, 2008 at 11:36 AM
A triumph!
Hellyeah Team Chloe FTW 2009!
And check out Edith's suggestions (on yesterday's blog) for excellent bracket ideas next year!
Thanks, Fug Girls - yousofun!
Posted by: Emperor Norton | April 08, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Dude, that photo montage was AMAZING. I'm going to have that song stuck in my head the rest of the day, but no worries. Just reminds me how much I adore GFY.
You, Heather and Jessica, are the wind beneath my wings.
Posted by: Hillary | April 08, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Thanks so much - was a tonne of fun. :)
Posted by: Likalia | April 08, 2008 at 11:37 AM
So much fun. I am sad, though, I really thought that I would do better in this bracket than in the basketball one. Apparently, I don't know fug like I thought I did.
Posted by: Lauren | April 08, 2008 at 11:40 AM
well...i thought the final game was about as exciting as the end of actual March Madness, which is to say not at all -- i knew who'd win in the first quarter. where were all the cinderella seeds?
that said, this tournament was FANTASTIC -- i can't wait for next year. new bracket, new fugs, new tribute video...hooray!
Posted by: megan | April 08, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Thanks, fug girls, it's been a lot of fun! I still believe that Posh is the definition of fug (and love her for it!), but Bai Ling was my second choice so all is well. I'm looking forward to next year!
Posted by: Ema | April 08, 2008 at 11:41 AM
I'm so sad it's over! Can't wait for 2009.
Posted by: Amanda S. | April 08, 2008 at 11:41 AM
What a fantastic way to end the tournament. I laughed, I cried, I threw up in my mouth a little.
Congrats to Bai. I hope we can read her acceptance speech on her blog!
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | April 08, 2008 at 11:43 AM
I can't argue that Bai is Fuggish to the extreme, but I really thought that the Posh-ho's fake boobs gave her a bit of an edge . . . Until next year ladies!
Posted by: Bean Mitch | April 08, 2008 at 11:43 AM
Three words:
tears
of
joy
Posted by: wwcutie | April 08, 2008 at 11:44 AM
Watching, watching, watching --WTF? When Peldon showed up I literally thought to myself, "what is that thing?" Then I realized it was Peldon. THEN I realized why I should be looking out for her. Ah, good times.
Posted by: Jen | April 08, 2008 at 11:46 AM
Wow. That was pretty intense. Waiting for Ms. Peldon was totally worth it.
Thanks for the time you took to organize this whole thing. It was really fun, and I'm totally looking forward to next year.
P.S. I think I actually like Daniel Day Lewis' horrifying plaid suit now! I've seen it so many times since the beginning of this, and I've been beaten into submission.
Posted by: Christina | April 08, 2008 at 11:47 AM
Amazing! Thatnk, girls, for making March the best month of 2008. I have to echo the sentiments of those who posted before me: what the hell am I going to do at work now? Work?! I think it's time to start picking my favorite for 2009; that should pass the time. Thanks!
Posted by: Pia | April 08, 2008 at 11:48 AM
We need to craft a statuette. I have a gluegun and some dryer lint.
Posted by: Joeybrill | April 08, 2008 at 11:50 AM
That video was cheese covered bliss. Thanks for that.
Posted by: Sweet Ess | April 08, 2008 at 11:50 AM
THANK YOU! Fug girls, it's been really fun, look forward to next year. And congrats to Bai Ling, your wacky awesomeness deserves it.
Posted by: Leah | April 08, 2008 at 11:53 AM
That was most definitely the best time I've ever had during March Madness.
Posted by: Tracy Lynn | April 08, 2008 at 11:54 AM
I think I'm going to frame my Fug Madness 2008 bracket for posterity.
Posted by: samantha | April 08, 2008 at 11:54 AM